Pygmalion Effect

Call it the Pygmalion effect, or the anticipatory principle, or even self-fulfilling prophecies, either way, what we expect, is usually what we experience. Moreover, the way in which people view you influences how you behave.That is, the expectation of events or behaviour can actually cause them to happen! The expectation does not need to be true at the time for it to occur, but becomes true when people act on the belief. What you focus on you grow—our beliefs literally create our reality. Our beliefs are self-fulfilling prophecies. 

Sociologists have discovered that we create images of our future via our hopes, dreams and imagination—and in large part, the stories we tell in our day-to day dialogue—and we then act to bring those images about in every area of our lives. Thus our successes and failures are strongly linked to the images and stories we tell about ourselves and our future.[1]

What we can learn from the story of Pygmalion

Pygmalion is a story in Ovid’s Metamorphoses. He was sculptor who fell in love with an ivory statue he carved of his ideal woman. Pygmalion was so in love with his creation, he shyly prayed to the gods to give him a wife in her likeness. The gods looked upon him with favour and granted his request by bringing his statue to life.

Pygmalion not only saw hidden potential that no-one else could see,he saw the finished sculpture in his mind long before it became a reality. Like Pygmalion, we need to see—and even seek out—the best in others, and to see their potential. Like Pygmalion, our belief in someone can bring their potential to life. As Aristotle said, “A vivid imagination compels the whole body to obey it.”[2]

A more modern example of the Pygmalion effect is the movie, My Fair Lady, in which Professor Higgins makes a bet with Pickering that he can turn a flower girl into a duchess in three months by teaching her to speak properly. Higgins continues to treat Eliza as a flower girl while teaching her how to speak eloquently, yet because Pickering treats her as a lady, she not only becomes one, she passes herself off as a princess.

We are all Pygmalion’s

In truth, we are all Pygmalion’s. Our expectations of ourselves and others often become reality one way or another—either as a story that exists in our own heads, or as a story that becomes our physical reality.

These self-fulfilling prophecies can be positive or negative and they often work in spirals. If you have a constructive mindset, you are more likely to see life and others in a positive light—to even see setbacks in constructive ways. While frustrating, sad, or even bad things may happen, when operating from a positive mindset, your life will not be defined by these moments. You will have the controls in place to pause and choose what attitude you will continue to walk in.

On the flip side, if you operate from a negative mindset, you are more likely to see life as a series of negative events. In fact, it is less likely that you will even notice the positive things that are going on in your life.

Most of us move between the two mindsets, though we generally hold a preference for one or the other. Our circumstances do not define how we view the world, we choose the attitude that we will operate in.

 How our attitude affects those around us

Doctor Rosenthal’s study into the Pygmalion effect proved that our attitudes can significantly affect those around us. Christakis and Fowler affirm this notion with their research on the surprising power of social networks. Our social influence reaches far beyond the people we know. They discovered that my actions can affect the actions of my friends, which means we can potentially impact people we have never met. Their research findings were somewhat disturbing in that if I were to discover that my friend’s friend’s friend was happy, I too was happy. If my friend’s friend’s friend went on a diet, I too was likely to go on a diet. This interconnection is a natural part of life and can be harnessed for good, for social networks can do significantly more than any one person can do.

For example metropolitan services in the US have developed teams of “violence interrupters.” These often former gang members, attempt to break the cycle of violence by encouraging victims of crime not to seek revenge. For if they can persuade one person to break the cycle, many lives can be saved.[3] Humanity is so intertwined and influenced by everyone else that your attitude impacts the rest of the world.

Our expectations drive our decisions and those of others

Meeting the expectations that our parents, our teachers, our leaders, set for us is something that we learn to do in our early childhood years. These expectations drive our decisions. If we expect we might be rejected, we might act aloof to protect ourselves. If we expect hostility, we might approach people with defensiveness. If we expect friendliness, we may approach people with a smile. If we expect to receive recognition or rewards for performance, we are likely to achieve more.

If we tell people we don’t know if they’ll make it—they are less likely to make it! Whereas if we expect the best of people and encourage them to do well, they are highly likely to do well. For example in Rosenthal’s Pygmalion effect study, when teachers expected their students to do well, they showed greater intellectual gains and their IQ scores increased.[4]

This is particularly important for leaders, managers, teachers and spiritual directors to understand. Those we lead, teach and mentor will often only do as well as we expect!

Developing a constructive environment that encourages human flourishing

Rosenthal discussed four factors that encouraged human flourishing.[5]

(1) Climate: Basically be nice to people both verbally and non-verbally and hold to positive expectations.

Being nice to people verbally might include the tone of our voice, the way we ask questions or request things to be done. Being nice to people non-verbally might include making eye contact, having an open and friendly facial expression, moving away from behind our desk or table when speaking to someone and turning our body toward them.

By viewing someone positively, we are more likely to approach them more openly. We will smile more, and be more supportive, friendly and encouraging toward them.

(2) Feedback: We give more positive reinforcement to those we expect to succeed and criticise them less when they take a misstep.

Interestingly, we provide more or less helpful feedback to people depending on whether “we think” they will succeed or fail. We subtly tear down those we think may fail. On the flip side, positive and constructive feedback helps people to grow in confidence and blossom.

(3) Input: We tend to provide more information to those we think will do well.

We set people up to fail when they come to us for feedback and we are vague about our expectations or any changes we require in outputs. To empower those we lead, it is important to clearly and graciously communicate ways they can improve their work.

(4) Opportunity: When we think well of people, we give them more opportunities to speak, more chances to respond, and we call on them more often.

When we see the best in people, we actively listen to them, give them freedom to share their opinions, and provide constructive feedback to help them find solutions. It’s a form of working together, even when in a classroom environment.

At the end of the day for better or worse, we all form expectations of people and situations. The more confidence we have in ourselves, the more likely we are to foster high expectations in those around us and motivate people toward positive outcomes.

Making your own self-image more positive

The person who holds the greatest influence over your behaviour, is yourself. The stories you tell generally lead to your successes and failures. The stories you tell yourself give you the grit you need to keep going when life gets hard, or they make you give up and walk away. They can either give you strength to endure and push through, or they can sap your energy and create an environment of fear.

As I write this I reflect on the stories I tell myself. I often joke that I am my greatest cheerleader for when I hit a wall I often say out loud, “Come on Theresa, you can do this!!” Sometimes in particularly challenging situations, or when working with a person who “pushes my buttons,” I force myself to stop and choose a more positive attitude. I literally choose to smile and seek out what is good about the person, or choose to have compassion toward the drivers of their personality.[6]  It isn’t always easy and we all falter, but it is incredible how situations and people can be turned around just by “choosing” a constructive mindset.

What stories do you speak over your life? How do those stories translate into actions or behaviour toward others? How might others then think about you? How might others thoughts about you translate into their actions toward you? How do you respond to the actions of others? What beliefs do you form about yourself as a result of the actions of others?

Can you see how we can go around in circles and form deep rooted images of ourselves and others? There is a way forward though!

The first step is to become aware of your actions or behaviour. Your behaviour is one area you have control of in the cycle.You have the ability to transform your life from merely going in circles to moving in an upward spiral. When you begin to consciously behave more constructively, you will begin to transform how others think about you, which in turn will eventually transform how they act toward you, which will in turn impact how you think about yourself.

Next steps

1. Think about the four key ingredients to developing a constructive environment: climate, feedback, input and opportunity.
2. What steps could you take to be more constructive? What will you do?
3. Do it—it’s worth it!
4. Persevere. You may fall, but you will pick yourself up again.